Living without regrets. Sure, it’s easy to say. Sure, it sounds good. Sure, I’d love to do that. But, what does it mean? Does it imply the absence of remorse for past wrongdoings? Or the passive approach to a carefree, moral-less life? I venture to say no.
I have many regrets. This past year contains all too many thoughts I wish I hadn’t thought, feelings I wish I hadn’t felt, words I wish I hadn’t spoke, actions I wish I hadn’t performed, and hopes I wish I hadn’t fostered. So many times, I laid awake at night wishing I had handled things differently. Good–I learned. I gained so much knowledge through my many failings this year, and that’s where the story ends.
You’ve always heard that you can’t change the past; I don’t think there’s any dispute on that matter. But, don’t we all act like we can? Or that simply regretting something enough will right the wrong? Dwelling on a memory does not give you a second chance to make things right. In fact, it only occupies time–God’s time–that could be spent in service Him.
So what does living without regrets mean? My desire is not to live under the burden of past regrets, but to dwell in the hope of no regrets. Instead of constantly reminding myself of my failings, I have resolved to simply evaluate my mistakes, learn from them, and then devote my thoughts to avoiding them in the future.
How is a life to be lived without regrets? Daily, we have to answer moral questions and then act on those answers. Whether is it simply questioning the act of talking about someone behind their back, or a more serious decision requiring you to stand up against the ones you love for the sake of God’s law, moral choices are made constantly; choices that could bare consequences for a lifetime. Will you compromise or stand firm?
This summer, I have been faced with lots of difficult decisions. Numerous times I have found myself in awkward situations where the principles I abide by were cast in a gray light. One night, I remember seriously considering a situation that I could potentially place myself in–nothing would happen, no one would know, I would act responsibly even if those around me didn’t. Then I realized something: I was rationalizing.
Everything became clear in that moment. If I EVER had to justify something to myself, I should not be pursuing it. That wasn’t the conclusion I wanted to arrive at, but I knew it was right. It was settled. Whenever I find myself ethically evaluating a situation, whenever I struggle to reach a moral conclusion, whenever I pose a question in my mind–the answer is no.
Only once I am able to relinquish my justifying mind and let go of my god-like attempt to make law will I be free to live without the fear of future failings. There is no doubt that this is a hard decision to make; it has cost me lots of “fun” opportunities and required a lot of explaining. But, be reminded that those “fun” opportunities can come unattached to morally questionable pursuits. And, know that God will bless those who are faithful to Him. To me, the most wonderful feeling in the world is to live a life without regrets–to that end I would gladly give up a million “fun” things.
Wonderful Post! The hope of no regrets is far more reachable living in the light of Christ’s love.